I have a teenage daughter who is 14 years old. I have raised her pretty much on my own with her father coming in and out of her life as and when he pleases. My daughter was always a very good girl, never got into trouble at school or anywhere else. She and I have always been close and I have always made sure that communication between us has always been good. When my daughter turned 14 I decided to allow her out more with her friends and she would sometimes spend the night at their house and vice-versa. I made it my business to know the parents of the children my daughter hangs around with because I feel it's important for me to do so. In less than 8 months my sweet, beautiful child has turned into something I do not recognise. It saddens me to say this but she has become a little monster. She stays out late and refuses to tell me where she is going, she says it is not my business. She drinks and smokes. I am quite sure she has also experimented with drugs. I found condoms in her room and confronted her with them and she became so angry I believe she would have physically attacked me if she wasn't considerably smaller than I am. One of her friends told me she had a boyfriend who is 25 years old but would not elaborate any further. I have tried everything short of locking her up in her room but I cannot get through to her. Her father always tells me that I am over reacting and she is just being a teenager. I really don't know what to do. If there is anyone on this site who can give me some advice about where to go, who to see or what I can do to change this situation, please, please help because I do not want to lose my daughter, if I haven't already.

Thanks,
MissLee

I have a teenage son who lives with his mum. We were divorced 3 years ago when he was 12 and I have worked really hard to be part of his life and be the best father that I can be but I sometimes feel like my ex encourages bad behaviour in him to get my attention. I am sorry that your daughter is causing you so much distress as I know it's not easy to be a single parent in this society. It looks like your daughter has just fallen in with the wrong crowed.

Your ex should be doing more to help you because all children need that balance in parenting. His attitude will only make things worse. In this day and age you can't afford to be so relaxed about teenagers bad behaviour because it is costing lives out there. You should not give up on your child she needs you and I am glad that you are at least looking for help. One thing you must not do is blame yourself because it looks like you do your best for your daughter and you love her very much.

I don't know what you plan to do in the 6 weeks holidays but you should certianly sit down with her and her father and lay the law down to both of them. Try speaking to your ex first and then you ask him to support you when you speak to your daughter. Ask her why she has suddenly changed in so drastically. Don't shout at her or make her feel like you are nagging her. Remind her that you are her mother, the same mother she has always been able to talk to and you are always there for her and if there is a problem you can only help her through it if she tells you.

I know it's easier said than done but you have to try and keep your stress level down.

I really hope things work out for you and your daughter MissLee.

Mikey1